Day 3 - A New Beginning

Good Morning,

I had no idea that anyone would read my blog yesterday, so that was a surprise to me. When I started writing yesterday I thought I would use this as a kind of journal to keep track of things I am trying to work on. I have no idea how long this will last, but I am hoping that I will actually be able to continue on and get better. I have tried this before and just end up back at square one, but I have to keep trying.

I at least got out yesterday and went for a walk and went out for lunch for a change. I took the Ranger Journal that I purchased but just could not seem to work in it. Maybe its just too much to fast, so we will see. My brother helped me get some of my art supplies out so I will have to go through a few boxes and see what I can find. I want to create but the drive is still lacking. Funny, I gessoed two pages in my journal but that is as far as I got, so maybe I can do a little more today. I still have to go for my walk, so I trust that will happen after I get done here.

I am still very depressed but do not want to take pills for it because I am tired of taking pills for this or that so I am going to try and deal with this on my own and see how that works out for me. I would love to be pill free one day, but know that will never happen. I am working on finding new doctors in the area that I moved too but its hard because most doctors seem to think that Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome are symptoms that could be in your head, but the fact that I can only walk around for about an hour before I am so tired that I cannot get back to my car at times makes me wonder. This last doctor at least seemed to understand the amount of pain that I am in. Who cares that all of my family have some sort of the same disease that I have; with the exception of the ITP; which is a blood disease, but seems to be in remission at this time, so we will see about that. Of course that is just a few of the things that are wrong with me but I figure that is enough for me to think about. Besides that my ANA tests showed positive for Lupus the last 4 times I have taken the test. So we will see what happens there. I have to believe that this is what 2 long years of my husband being unemployed and the stress that we have been under has done to both of us. Because we are truly not the people we were even a few years ago, which is very sad for both of us and I guess that is just something we will have to learn to deal with.

My picture of the day:-) A person can at least dream!!!!!

I'll go for now and get that walk in and maybe even go through an art box.

Love, Light, & Happiness
CindyLew