Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Day 3 - A New Beginning

Good Morning,

I had no idea that anyone would read my blog yesterday, so that was a surprise to me. When I started writing yesterday I thought I would use this as a kind of journal to keep track of things I am trying to work on. I have no idea how long this will last, but I am hoping that I will actually be able to continue on and get better. I have tried this before and just end up back at square one, but I have to keep trying.

I at least got out yesterday and went for a walk and went out for lunch for a change. I took the Ranger Journal that I purchased but just could not seem to work in it. Maybe its just too much to fast, so we will see. My brother helped me get some of my art supplies out so I will have to go through a few boxes and see what I can find. I want to create but the drive is still lacking. Funny, I gessoed two pages in my journal but that is as far as I got, so maybe I can do a little more today. I still have to go for my walk, so I trust that will happen after I get done here.

I am still very depressed but do not want to take pills for it because I am tired of taking pills for this or that so I am going to try and deal with this on my own and see how that works out for me. I would love to be pill free one day, but know that will never happen. I am working on finding new doctors in the area that I moved too but its hard because most doctors seem to think that Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome are symptoms that could be in your head, but the fact that I can only walk around for about an hour before I am so tired that I cannot get back to my car at times makes me wonder. This last doctor at least seemed to understand the amount of pain that I am in. Who cares that all of my family have some sort of the same disease that I have; with the exception of the ITP; which is a blood disease, but seems to be in remission at this time, so we will see about that. Of course that is just a few of the things that are wrong with me but I figure that is enough for me to think about. Besides that my ANA tests showed positive for Lupus the last 4 times I have taken the test. So we will see what happens there. I have to believe that this is what 2 long years of my husband being unemployed and the stress that we have been under has done to both of us. Because we are truly not the people we were even a few years ago, which is very sad for both of us and I guess that is just something we will have to learn to deal with.

My picture of the day:-) A person can at least dream!!!!!

I'll go for now and get that walk in and maybe even go through an art box.

Love, Light, & Happiness


  1. Just do what you can do CindyLew and remember that it is something. I feel for you on the health front. I don't have problems as serious as yours, but it took me over a year of fighting with doctors to finally get them to admit I had an under-active thyroid and get me on medication. All the while you fight them your body gets weaker and your spirit goes down. Sometimes I'm too hard on myself and I have started just focusing on what I do accomplish. You went for a walk-and you gessoed some pages-good for you!!!

    1. thanks, its crazy how much the doctors really do not do for you and things they say sometimes. i understand the thyroid issues because i have that also. the list just goes on and on; so much so that they just tell me they dont know what to do which of course makes me crazy. so now im just trying to work on taking it one day at a time. i agree about the weaker and weaker issues, because i know how i feel, i just get so depressed some days its hard to function.

      take care of yourself and thanks for the thoughts.

      Love & Light, CindyLew

  2. Hang in there Cindy and don't give up, it will just take time and I'm sure there is a plan for your life as there is for all of us, keep rested and take your walks when you can and that is a good start.
    We are here for you,
    Hugs and love Marilou

  3. thanks, its been nice to see what you have accomplished over the year or so, lots of fun things. i keep telling myself that so maybe one day the plan will really reveal itself:-)

    Love & Light, Cindy

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Welcome Bloggy Friends:

Thank you for stopping by. All of your comments are greatly appreciated and I look forward to reading them; I will return the visit soon. Until Then....... Have a wonderful day!!!

Warm Wishes, CindyLew